


Something Must Break

by secondskin



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Aaron's Canon Backstory For TW, Aaron-Centric, Angst, Anxiety, Implied/Referenced Past Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Past Self-Harm, M/M, Panic Attacks, Past Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden, past abusive relationship, past emotional abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-22 04:03:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13755906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secondskin/pseuds/secondskin
Summary: After Robert breaks into the Mill in the middle of the night, Aaron grows closer to Alex and starts to reach some kind of closure on his toxic relationship with Robert.





	Something Must Break

**Author's Note:**

> _Timeline:_ This takes place sometime after Aaron showed Alex his scars, but before Robert was run over by Lawrence. I've taken liberties with Alex's backstory. Adam is going nowhere in this, and Gerry hasn't yet appeared in the series.
> 
>  _Rating and warnings:_ I've rated this M because of the mature themes, not for any kind of graphic content. Aaron's backstory will be referred to similarly like on the show. There will be non-graphic sexual content in later chapters. (Most likely just implied/referred to.)

 

 

Alex snaps awake immediately, disoriented in the dark. Loud voices are coming from downstairs, but he's not sure if that's what woke him up. Liv's with her mother this week. The bed is empty, the bedsheets on Aaron's side messed up, like he's just gotten up.

Alex creeps into the hallway when the front door closes with a dull thud. The voices have quietened down. There's something off about the silence, like a recording's been played out, but the needle still runs on static.

"Aaron," Alex calls out from the top of the stairs. The lights are out, and the stairs are an accident waiting to happen even in broad daylight. He feels his way down to the bottom of them and sees Aaron huddled over at the front door, illuminated by the weak light coming through the windows that frame the door.

Even in the dark, Alex can see that the side table is overturned, and he steps neatly around it, fumbling for the light switch. Aaron doesn't turn towards him when the light is switched on. He's picking up pieces of glass from the floor. The window is broken next to the door's chain lock, the chain dangling in the air.

"What happened? Are you alright?" Alex asks, setting the table back on its legs, not bothering with the magazines that have spilt onto the floor.

Aaron shrugs and flinches when he picks up another piece of glass. He turns halfway towards Alex, only meeting his eyes momentarily. Aaron's eyes look red, and Alex can already guess who's behind it all. Aaron ever closes up like this when it's about Robert. In all honesty, Alex had an inkling from the moment he woke up.

Alex crouches down next to Aaron and grabs Aaron's hand where he's shakily gathering up the glass. "Maybe we should clean this up in the morning? He's not coming back, is he?" Aaron looks up at the broken window, and Alex grimaces, walking over to the door and sliding the chain back into place, all the good that it will do.

"I called Vic," Aaron eventually says, confirming what Alex already knew. "He was drunk—I don't think he meant to break the window. He said he still has a key."

Something uneasy settles at the bottom of Alex's stomach as he looks around the mess in the living room. He picks up the magazines for something to do while his mind turns the facts over. He isn't a stranger to clingy ex-boyfriends, but how Aaron walks on eggshells around Robert unnerves him. Mentioning calling the police would only raise Aaron's hackles up further, so he stays quiet. The way Aaron spoke about the key, it sounds like it's news to him, too. Maybe Robert cut a spare one when he was squatting at the flat after they broke up. What Robert thought he could accomplish with it, Alex doesn't want to think about.

Cold air is rushing in through the broken window. Aaron abandons the glass while they look for something to temporarily cover it with. Eventually, they settle on taping an old piece of stiff cardboard over it. Aaron holds it in place while Alex tears strips of tape, flattening them around the edges. When Aaron lets go of the cardboard, his hands leave red smudges on it.

"Aaron—"

"'s just an accident," Aaron says, his eyes sincere. "The glass was sharp," he continues, hissing when Alex takes his hands into his own. "I wouldn't—" he leaves the sentence open, and Alex rubs his thumb over Aaron's wrist.

"It's okay," Alex says, though it isn't, not really. He doesn't like seeing Aaron hurt. The cuts look superficial enough, and although Alex believes Aaron, he can't help but take a closer look. "We should clean them up, just in case."

Aaron nods and leans his head on Alex's chest, taking a deep breath. Alex brushes his fingers through his hair a couple times until Aaron lifts his head again. "I'm sorry you woke up. I know you came in late," he says.

Alex stops himself from saying something that he'll regret later. "It's not your fault," he says, trying to keep his voice neutral. Aaron won't react well if he points out whose fault it is, but it's like Aaron can hear his thoughts floating in the air between them.

"Yeah," Aaron says and with that he turns around to go upstairs, dodging the broken glass. Alex stares at his naked feet for a while, until he snaps out of it. He feels that Aaron needs some space for himself, and so he busies himself with finding the dustbin and sweeping up the glass that Aaron collected into neat piles. He tidies up, picking Liv's sweater from the floor and folding it over a chair for good measure.

When he's done, the living room looks like Robert never went on a rampage through it. The window's the only thing that serves as a reminder, an ugly tear running across it high up where the cardboard doesn't cover it fully.

Alex has entered that stage of tiredness where he's hyper-aware of everything around him. He closes his eyes just for a moment, feeling dizzy before he heads back upstairs to the bedroom. Aaron's sitting on the bed, facing the window. There's a bottle of antiseptic lying on the bed, and Alex almost flops on top of it. He tosses it on the nightstand and gets under the covers, his eyes closing of their own account. He lays there, his body sinking into the mattress. Before he can fall fully under, it registers to him that Aaron's still sitting on the edge of the bed.

Alex reaches a hand towards him, touching his thigh. "Don't you want to go back to sleep?" he asks, keeping his eyes closed and his face turned into the pillow.

Aaron takes a long, shuddering breath, and Alex opens his eyes. He rubs over Aaron's thigh, feeling him shake. It's the darkest hour of the night, and Alex can only see Aaron's silhouette, his back bowing over his legs like he's praying.

"It doesn't feel safe," Aaron finally gasps out, and it's like someone's doused Alex in cold water, his mind clearing from the sleep that threatened to overwhelm him only a minute ago.

We can still call the police, Alex thinks but doesn't say out loud. He crawls from under the covers and walks around the bed to kneel before Aaron, who's struggling to breathe, the sleeves of his shirt pulled tight over his fists. He rubs angrily at his eyes, clearly trying to regulate his breathing, most likely just how his therapist has advised him to do. Alex feels helpless. He grabs onto where Aaron's holding his knee tightly with his other hand and waits it out with him until Aaron's breathing has calmed down enough for him to speak again. "I dunno what to do," he says, his voice strained, like it takes a lot out of him to admit it.

"I think," Alex starts, swallowing noisily, "we both need some rest. It'll all feel better in the morning." He knows it's a platitude, but it's also the truth—Aaron's had trouble sleeping lately, and sleepless nights only acerbate bad thoughts.

Aaron shakes his head, his eyes wide as he stares past Alex. "I can't sleep here."

"We could always drive up to my place."

Aaron lifts his head up and looks at Alex in the eyes properly for the first time since Alex woke up. "Don't you have an early one tomorrow?"

"Afternoon. We could sleep in," Alex says, seeing the relief already start to spread over Aaron.

"You'd really be fine driving up there in the middle of the night?"

"Of course."

Aaron wipes his eyes with his sleeves one last time. He leans in briefly to give Alex a short kiss, and then they get changed, Aaron grabbing spare clothes into his backpack.

Aaron insists on driving—which is probably for the best because Alex is starting to get dizzy from tiredness again. He leans against the window, the village making way for long stretches of field, a smattering of stars visible in the sky when the streetlights are sparse. The sound of the motor is the only thing that exists around them, and Alex is reminded of the long drives they took across the countryside to see his grandparents when he was young. His dad was still alive back then, and he'd driven late into the night after work so they wouldn't have to pay up for a room on the road.

It's the exhaustion of the long day at work extending into the night that makes Alex's eyes sting with tears. He hasn't talked a lot about his dad with Aaron; he knows that Aaron's dad died in prison recently, and it's clearly a sore subject. Aaron's tight-lipped about it, and Alex doesn't blame him—there are things he still likes to keep close to his heart about his own father. It makes him feel closer to Alex, keeping some of the memories only to himself.

Aaron drives on. When they enter the long stretch of forest, Alex's thoughts grow muddled, melting together, and then he's jerking awake to Aaron's touch.

"Ya fell asleep," Aaron says, his voice gentle next to him. Aaron unbuckles his seatbelt as Alex blinks sleep from his eyes. He's groggier than the first time he woke up and after managing to find his keys and open the door, he finds himself following Aaron blindly up the stairs into his flat.

Aaron's been here often enough to know the layout in the dark, so they don't bother turning the lights on. Aaron chucks his backpack next to the bed and drops his trousers on top before he gets under the blankets. Alex follows him promptly, letting out a deep breath when he's finally underneath the covers. He reaches for his phone and sets the alarm, squinting at the harsh light of the screen. Aaron groans beside him. "'s like I'm bladdered," he mumbles from somewhere deep under the blankets, half-asleep already.

Alex huffs and tosses his phone down on the carpet, far enough so he won't just turn it off right away when he wakes up. He stretches his arm over to Aaron, comforted by his solid shape next to him. Aaron's clearly able to relax in Alex's flat, already snoring softly next to him, and so Alex closes his eyes, chasing him into his dream.

 

 


End file.
